Marching Bands

I went to our local high school football game last Friday--we got beat--but that's not has me wound up. I've noticed a trend for some time now and that is this: marching bands DON'T MARCH anymore!!!

I'm sitting in the stands, waiting for the halftime "show" to begin, and what appears to be a host of band parents begin wheeling out all kinds of props, backdrops, ground cover, and a plethora of instruments that traditionally and physically were never intended to be part of a MARCHING band, e.g. timpanis, gongs, xylophones, assorted mounted percussion, etc. Then there's the assortment of flags that will be twirled, tossed, and waved by a sea of "support" personnel, i.e. the flag team.

THEN, the music--and I use the term loosely--begins...and I say that because I can BARELY HEAR IT!!! and it sounds like some kind of symphony or something. All I can hear are the flutes, a single snare drum and the timpani. And all the while, the band is doing some kind of flowing type of walking or something. Where is the high-step marching? Where are the blaring trumpets and trombones? Where are the booming sousaphones? Where are the strutting drum majors and fire baton twirlers?!!! And...what in the world are they doing with those "flags?!" They're not American flags. They're not flags from other countries. They're just brightly colored strips of cloth attached to an aluminum pole! I wouldn't salute that thing.

Why are you people just standing there? It's MARCHING band for crying out loud! What happened to March Grandioso or Stars and Stripes Forever?!

It just ain't right.