Anniversary

In 1977, I had just completed two semesters of college/technical school and was home on break before returning for the summer semester. The annual Tri-County Fair was coming up and I took the opportunity to earn a few bucks by painting "window splashes" announcing the event. Actually, this was what got me started down the road of sign painting, but that's another story.

I don't remember how much I charged for each window, but I could knock out about two or three of them in a day. A cartoon character barnyard animal and large bright letters "Come to the Tri-County Fair" was painted on just about every business window on Main Street. I was raking it in, doing something that came naturally. People would stop, watch and ask questions: "How do you make those lines so straight? Did you take drawing lessons to do that? Is that all free-hand?" Invariably, someone would tell me a story about a man they knew who painted signs. "His hands just shake like crazy until he gets a couple belts in him. Then, he can paint a straight line without even using a ruler! Do you drink?"

I had been painting for several days when one afternoon, a group of high school students came by. One of them lived behind us growing up; we had also attended the same church, so even though he was a few years younger than me, Raymond and I knew each other pretty well. There were about five or six boys and girls with Raymond, but he did most of the talking. He/they asked the same questions everybody else had; no one had a drinking story.

At one point in the conversation, I turned to face the group...that's when I saw her. She wore her blonde hair in a very short style. Her green eyes twinkled and that smile... For some reason I have it in my head she was wearing red shorts-very SHORT red shorts, which I'm sure helped in catching my attention. I actually knew her in name only because she had dated the brother of a former girlfriend, but we had never actually spoken to each other. I wasn't going to pass up the chance to talk now. I noticed she was wearing some of those "short socks"--you know the kind that barely come above the top of your shoes--so I blurted out what I thought would be a great opening line: "Hey, your socks fell down." Pretty corny, eh? As soon as I said it, I thought so too, but she laughed and that's all that mattered at the time.

The group stood around for a few more minutes and then left. I don't recall if she and I carried on any kind of conversation that day, but I vowed I was going to find out if she was dating anyone and if not, get her phone number. She wasn't (dating anyone) and I did (get her phone number). I called her some time later and she invited me over to meet her parents. You can read that story (in part) here.

Fast forward to May 31, 1980 -- our wedding day. By now, her parents had come to grips (resigned themselves) with the fact that we were getting married. I was 22, Dana was 19; just a couple of dumb kids madly in love. It's not that her parents disliked me; I think they just didn't like the idea of Dana getting married so young. Undeterred by theirs--or anyone else's--misgivings, we purchased a 900 square foot house in our hometown shortly after becoming engaged. I moved into the house, while Dana still lived with her parents. Dana and I would go to work everyday and then every night, she would come over and we would paint, hang wallpaper, etc. getting the house ready to become our "first home."

The Saturday of our wedding finally arrived. I had a couple of buddies over the night before just to hang out; no big bachelor party. We all fell asleep in the living room. That morning, they all went home to get ready for the wedding. I was home by myself...and that's when it happened: my ADHD kicked in. I was getting ready to go to the church--had my tux all ready, luggage packed and had a couple of minutes to kill, so I turned on the TV. Big mistake, because the St. Louis Cardinals were playing that day! I thought, "I'll just watch a few minutes of this, catch the score and then head out." Didn't happen. I sat down, became engrossed in the game and the next thing I knew it was SEVERAL innings later and HER DAD is knocking on the door! He had come looking for me when I didn't show up at the church. Not a good way to start a wedding or a relationship with the future father-in-law! I grabbed my stuff, rushed out the door and drove to the church in record time--her dad followed me, probably making sure I made it. He seemed to be very angry or concerned; I wasn't sure. I just knew I was late!

I arrived at the church in time to change and be ready to walk out with the preacher and groomsmen at the appropriate time. And the the rest is history! She said "I do." I said "I do." And "we have" ever since. Twenty nine years later, I still love her smile, and that twinkle in her eyes. She still thinks I say stupid things. I don't remember a lot of the details of the ceremony, but I do remember that our favorite song at the time was "Longer" by Dan Fogelberg. We had it played right before the ceremony started. It's still one of our favorites.

Longer by Dan Fogelberg
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fire in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you.

Many Christmases Ago...

We met the summer of 1977 (I may tell that story some other time)--actually we sort of already knew each other from high school, but had never spoken to each other. I met her parents for the first time that summer. Her father told her: "You will never date THAT!" Looking back, I can understand his sentiment/desire to protect his daughter from a very hairy, "hippy-looking" guy.

We didn't date for about six months, i.e. we weren't allowed to go anywhere alone, but her parents did allow me to come to their house. And so, for the next six months, we sat, watched TV, and sat. We were eventually allowed to go to the local Sonic and get something to drink, but we had to come right back to the house. Keep in mind now, I was in college and she was still in high school.

I went to school year-round, so I would come home on the weekends, spend most every moment at her house or follow her to the high school football games (she was a cheerleader), etc. We wrote to each other most every week, and talked on the phone when I had money for the pay phone (remember those?).

We talked about breaking up once...actually I was doing the talking, she did the crying. We didn't break up.

I graduated from college, started and shut down a graphic design/sign business with a buddy from school, then moved back to the town where we both grew up. I took a job with a sign company in Tulsa. She finished high school and took a job with an oil company in Tulsa, eventually becoming a systems administrator some years after we married, but I'm jumping ahead.

It was a Saturday, as I recall. We were going shopping for Levis for me; can't remember if she was looking for anytyhing in particular or not. The mall we were in also had a couple of jewelry stores and for whatever reason, we found ourselves in one of them...looking at wedding rings! By this time we had been dating a couple of years and her dad was over being REALLY mad about the situation and had settled on "resigned" at that point. We had talked about marriage, but really hadn't made any plans. There we were, two "kids" looking at wedding rings and both of us saying: "WOW! That's a lot of money!" I can't remember how long we were in the store, but when all was said and done, we had made a down payment on a wedding band for me and an engagement ring/wedding ring set for her...all three rings came to around $500. How in the world was I ever going to pay for that?!

We went home that day and honestly, I don't remember telling our parents about our purchase, but I'm sure we did. We didn't have a wedding date set or anything. Neither of us owned a home--in fact, we were both still living with our parents; but we had rings or at least the payment on rings for the time being.

By Christmas in 1979 I had made enough payments to get the engagement ring. I took it home, showed it my mom and then proceeded to wrap it. Now, I couldn't just wrap up the little box; she'd know what it was right away. So, I wrapped the ring box, put it inside a bigger box and wrapped it; put the bigger box inside a BIGGER box and wrapped it; then...put the BIGGER box inside a B I G G E R box. She'd never guess what I had gotten her.

I remember watching her open the present. She had no idea what was in that big box. Her family stood around and watched as she unwrapped and opened box after box until she got to the smallest one. By then, I could tell she was getting excited; so where her sisters. A little box that size could mean only one thing: WE'RE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED! She jumped up and down; there was a lot of squealing (that may have been me) and crying (I think that was her Dad).

In January, we purchased a 900 square foot house about a mile from her parent's home. I moved in and begin renovating it; she would come over evenings after work and we would paint and wallpaper what would become OUR home for the next 12 years. We were married on May 31, 1980.

We live in a different town now; we have two boys--one in college, the other in Junior High, and a dog. She still wears the same engagement ring from 31 Christmases ago. I thought she was pretty then; I think she's pretty now. She says she hates to have her picture taken, but I do it anyway.

Merry Christmas, Sweetie! I love you.

Friday Photo

My in-laws celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last weekend and asked me to be the "official photographer" (I own a camera and I was willing.) My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last year.

Fifty years is a LONG time to be married these days. That's more years than lots of people stay married in MONTHS!