What Will People Remember

I got the news this afternoon: a friend from High School had died. We were in the same graduating class and had gone to school together since grade school. We were in band together- she played the flute, I played the drums. We liked some of the same music/artists, one in particular: Grand Funk. For her birthday (I think) I drew a poster of Mark, Don and Mel. She loved it and told me she'd keep it so that one day when I became a famous graphic artist, she could tell everyone she had a "Keith Original." I never became famous, but at our last reunion, she told me she still had the poster...after over 30 years!

After I hung up the phone, I wondered about her. What had she been doing all these years? We saw each other at the class reunions, but like lots of High School classmates, we really hadn't kept in touch over the years. How many children did she have? What kind of work did she do? What hobbies did she have? Where did she go to church? Was she happy? Did she have lots of friends? Why?...just why?

I didn't know the answer to those questions. So...I thought about the things I did know, the things I remember:

• We laughed a lot during those years; she had an infectious laugh.
• She was a good friend. I'm glad I got to know here during those years.
• She was one of the first females to go through the Drafting program at the local Vo-Tech. That was a big deal back in the 70s. I remember talking to her about it and how she was apprehensive and yet, determined at the same time. She made it through the program just fine.
• She was the FFA Queen our Senior year. Don't why I remember that; I wasn't even in FFA.

Thinking about her death, made me think about my own. Let's face it, one of these days, we're all going to come to the point in this journey. One of my favorite songs by Grand Funk is "Closer to Home." Each day we're getting closer to "home." What will people remember about me when I'm gone? Was I a good friend? Will they remember the funny stuff? Was I a good husband, a good father? Life goes by pretty fast. I hope I'll leave some good memories behind...In the meantime, there are some areas I need to work on NOW, while I have the time.

Thanks for the good memories, Marci.

What Inconsistency?

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said, "Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not yet one year old and I am pregnant again! I do not want kids so close together!"

"What do you want me to do?," asked the doctor.

"I want you to end my pregnancy." she said. "I am counting on your help with this." The doctor thought for a little while and after some silence, said to the woman, "I think I have a better solution." She smiled with a sense of guarded relief.

He continued: "In order for you to not have to care for two babies at the same time, perhaps we could terminate the one you have in your arms."

The woman was horrified. "Doctor! How horrible! Its a crime to kill a child!

"Oh, I do agree, " said the doctor, "but you seemed to be OK with it. I simply thought this would be the least risk to you."

(Thanks to Thinkerup for this one)

Obituaries

Whenever I pick up a local newspaper, I read the obituaries. If the obits are broken down by town, then I look for particular towns, if not, I just scan the listings. I'm always thrilled when I don't read my own name; I guess that means I made it another day.

Death comes, for most, when we least expect it. One day you're here; the next day, people are reading about you in the paper. Some obituaries are short and to the point:

Bob Upslaker died last Tuesday, July 17. He was 84 years old. Services are pending.

Some obituaries are LONG.

Life-long Bochachita, KS resident Bob Upslaker passed from this life on July 17, 2006 after a lengthy battle with psoriasis. He was a pillar of the community, having served as a Deacon AND Elder in his church. He taught the 9th grade boys Sunday School class for 55 years and was on the Finance, as well as Building and Grounds Committees at Church of God in Jesus Christ Our Savior Independent Baptist Church (Est. 1912).

Bob was a member of the Kiwanis, Civitans, and was the Sargeant at Arms of the Bochachita Garden Club; he also served as Grand Marshal of the Bochachita Founders Day Parade. In 1998, Bob was named "Man of the Year" by the Sweetwater County Chamber of Commerce for his participation in their annual aluminum recycling drive.

Bob was preceeded in death by his wife, Bernice. He is survived by three adult children- Joe, John, and Jeremiah, two dogs- Pepper and Scotty of the home, and one cat- Mr. Whiskers.

A memorial service will be held Wednesday at 2:00 PM at Crosby-Still-Nash-Young-Merrill Lynch-Sakowitz Funeral Home Chapel.

Some obituaries don't go as planned. I remember hearing about a funeral/memorial service where the obituary was interrupted by the "mourners." It seems that the deceased wasn't a regular church attender, so the memorial was held in the funeral home chapel with a minister that was hired to do the service. Since the dead man was virtually unknown to the pastor, he did the best he could--given the situation--by interviewing a few "friends/co-workers" and relying heavily on the obit that appeared in the paper.

About half-way through the service, the minister stated something like: "In talking with some of his (the deceased's) co-workers, many of them spoke about what a kind, generous man he was." The words had no sooner left the minister's mouth when from the back of the sparsely filled room came: "Oh, bull crap! He was the most selfish &%*$#@ I've ever met!!!" Before the minister could gain his composure, one of the FAMILY MEMBERS stood up on the front row and shouted, "Yeah! He never was generous. In fact, he was the most selfish #$%*&^!!** I've every known!" From there, it was utter chaos as one after another, family members and attendees yelled and shouted some of the most vile, hateful things about the deceased man. After what must have seemed like an eternity, the funeral home director rushed to the front of the chapel, declared the "service" OVER and sent everyone home. I don't think there was a graveside.

I hope my obituary goes better than that...of course, not any time soon.

Suicide

"Do you think people who commit suicide go to heaven?," my co-worker asked. The question wasn't just out of the blue; his niece had killed herself a couple of days before.

I don't go around beating people over the head with it, but people in our office/shop know that I am a Christian. This co-worker and I have had several discussions about religion/Christianity over the past 20 years we've known each other. In fact, he is a fairly new Christian, having come to faith in Christ just a couple of years ago. I didn't "lead" him to Christ, but I'd like to think that my prayers and witness played a role in his and his family's conversion.

"That's a tough one, " I replied. "Was your niece a Christian?" I asked. Believing that is the prerequisite to one's going to heaven--being a Christian--I figured I might as well start there. He understood why I had asked and wasn't offended by the question. The co-worker stated that the family didn't attend church, but they talked about Jesus alot. None of the children, including the girl that had committed suicide, had gone to church growing up--at least not regularly. The occasional VBS, funeral or wedding. Maybe on Easter or Christmas, but nothing regular. "But I have reason to believe that she surely made some sort of decision or confession of faith at some time in her life," he said. He wasn't real explicit where he got that notion.

For some people, "being a Christian" simply means going to church (every Sunday or at least somewhat of a regular interval). For others, it's having been sprinkled (that ain't baptism, which is an entirely different topic) as a baby, or maybe they went through a class or something. If they signed a card or can claim membership in a church, that's always a good one. Simply believing there is a God will do it for some, while others might take it a step further and say "I know I don't live like I should, but I believe Jesus died for my sins." Whatever they believe, it becomes something to hang their hat on when faced with the reality of death--their own or a loved one's.

It's interesting (and sad) that people don't think about God, or have much to do with Him...until the end.

I'm Not Dead! / Friday Photos

I was thinking about the fact that I turn 50 next year (March), which--for whatever reason--made me think of the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Bring out your dead
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one.
CART MASTER: Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
CART MASTER: He isn't?
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER: I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

My boys say "you're old," which I'm sure they believe. I remember being a teenager and thinking that 30 and 40-year-olds were ancient. Now, here I sit...I graduated from college 30 years ago, my hair is thin/falling out, my beard is WHITE, my gut is protruding and sagging. Yep. I'm getting older--but I'm not dead yet! I think I've got a few more good years in me.

Speaking of being "old," my wife and I did one of those "old people" things last weekend (maybe that's why I'm thinking about age). We went for a drive along "scenic 412" here in northeastern Oklahoma. The leaves had started changing about a week ago, and that area typically has some beautiful trees. So...we took off after Sunday School and drove over to Siloam Springs, AR, ate lunch, and looked at all the fall colors.

On our way home, we stopped at Natural Falls State Park. I wasn't able to get any good pictures of the waterfall; my camera has a limited apeture and it was in the middle of the day which was not a good time for trying to get that "foggy" waterfall look. Anyway, it was nice just to get out of the house, spend some time together--UNINTERRUPTED--and not hearing someone say: "You're old!"

Friday Photos

All Dogs Go to Heaven?

Disclaimer: Names have been changed for obvious reasons. I'm not looking for my blog to get tons of hits; this is just a place for me to vent and write about the "things that go through my head." This particular post is not intended to be disrespectful or rude to any particular individual. Really.

I heard on the news today that this famous guy named Leon Palamino died. He was supposedly a very well known yodeler, and I had heard of him, although I can't say I've every heard him yodel. Lots of people must of really liked his yodeling, because EVERY 6:00 News program led off with the story of Leon's death.

I googled Leon's name, and found tons of websites dedicated to him and his yodeling. He died this morning, and there were already a lot of "tribute" blogs/websites where people could post their thoughts about Leon. They were saying things like:

• I saw Palamino with the Three Yodelers...incredible!
• Man, that guy could yodel! And...
• Heaven has a new yodeler.

I saw and heard that last comment several times and thought to myself: How do they know that? Now, let me say right up front: I don't have any idea where Leon is right now. I don't claim to know all about him, but I honestly haven't heard a single thing that would make me think he's singing in heaven. He yodeled in a different language, so maybe he was yodeling all this time about Jesus, but you'd think he or someone would have mentioned it.

Here's the thing-- I don't believe that just because you're a good singer or a good person, you go to heaven. All dogs DON'T go to heaven. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not reveling in the idea that Leon may not be in heaven; in fact, I hope he is, but there seems to be this thing that when someone we really like dies, we say things like: "They're in a better place" or "She's not suffering anymore" or "He's singing in God's choir." It's not enough to be good. It's not enough to simply say, "Yeah, I believe there's a God/Higher Power." It's just not enough...nothing we do on our own is enough. It may make us feel better to say those things, but they're just not true.

In simplest terms, there is only ONE way a person goes to heaven, and that's through Jesus Christ, by putting their faith/trust in His death on the cross to pay the price for their sins. Jesus said: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. (John 14:6) I hope Leon put his faith in Jesus; I really do.

Friday Photos

flickr: Friday Photo Group