A Little More Time

We moved our youngest son into his apartment at college this weekend. All of his worldly possessions were neatly packed into boxes. His books, iMac, TV, CDs/DVDs, electric guitar, clothes, a few pots and pans, toiletries, and a hand-me-down bookcase case were all loaded into two vehicles for the short drive. He's attending a college within half an hour's distance, but the program he's in requires he live on campus the first year.

Our oldest son moved out a couple of months ago, but due to the economy and severe cuts in his hours at work, he moved BACK home this weekend. He has one year of college left and hopes to get married next summer, so he decided it would be better to be somewhere a little cheaper (free rent) so he can save some money. I'm good with it.

At the end of the emotional day--on several levels--I was thinking how fast the last 20+ years had flown by and how things were going to be quite a bit different. The youngest will come home most weekends; how much we'll see of him during that time is still up for debate. The oldest already had a pattern of coming and going as he pleased before he left, and I'm sure that's how it will be now. They don't depend on us near as much as they used to. They have grown up; they have very distinct personalities, talents, beliefs, etc. They are--and have been for a while--pretty independent fellas. They are both quite talented musically. Both of them have a warped/unique sense of humor (don't know where they got THAT!), and they inherited the "height" gene that apparently missed their mother and I.

We're proud of them both. The youngest told us once: "You guys got off easy," and you know what? He's right. Both of them have participated in their share of mischievous acts, but for the most part, they have been really "good kids"...now young men.

Yep. It'll be different not having them both around all the time. Not hearing them laughing in their rooms at some stupid video or post they've read on the internet. It will be quieter; it could become a little unnerving when they both broke out the guitars and keyboards and began playing...in two separate rooms and two completely different tunes!!! I'll miss having them come into the living room, paying no attention to what's going on and immediately just start talking, reading something THEY think is funny, or playing a new tune they've figured out without any regard for the fact their mother and I are in the middle of a conversation or trying to watch something on TV.

I'll miss waiting on them to show up for dinner on time. I'll miss telling them for the 1 millionth time to "pick that crap up and put it in your room." I'll miss hearing them say: "Mom, I'm gonna be in college and you won't know what I'm doing all the time there. Why do I have to text you, now?" There are lots of other things I'll miss, but you get the point.

I'm also going to miss the things I wanted to do with them, but never got around to. I got busy, they got busy. We didn't have the money. We didn't have the time. The oldest and I planned on riding Oklahoma FreeWheel together, but it never happened. I planned on taking them both white-water rafting. I planned on taking them both deep-sea fishing. I planned on us renting an RV and just getting away for a week. I wanted to take them to a Shepherds' Conference. I meant to spend more time with them, doing things they enjoyed, talking about all kinds of things, picking their brains, giving them some "fatherly advice." I meant to do all that stuff and more...but it didn't happen.

I wish I'd had a little more time...

I did what I could within the time I had, and all-in-all, they didn't turn out bad. They don't seem to be too upset about the things we didn't do, so just maybe, things will be alright. And you know what, God willing, we still may get the opportunity to do some of those things...as long as it doesn't interfere with school!

Missions

First, let me say from the start that I am all for missions, i.e. giving of money and/or labor for the purpose of spreading the Gospel message, as well as serving/ministering to people in need. Missions can be in the form of sending a check to a group or organization to actually joining in doing some of the work yourself. Missions can be local or all the way across the ocean. Missions can be in the form of talking to someone about their relationship with Jesus Christ or simply offering them a warm blanket, a hot meal, or helping clean up after a disaster. There's no "set in stone" definition. For the sake of this discussion, I am referring more to missions done in association with one's faith or religion. That doesn't mean that I think only Christians can be kind or that we've cornered the market on helping other.

Second, I've got nothing against what is typically referred to as foreign missions. My wife and I have supported a foreign mission for over 15 years with a monthly check. We'll never go there; we'll never see first-hand the impact of our contribution, but we receive letters from the missionaries so we know that our money is being used wisely and goes to help people that might otherwise not have some of the things we take for granted here in the United States.

All of that said, I think we've (and I have to include myself in this one) missed the boat on missions in the church today. Here's why I say that. In many--maybe most--of the churches I've been part of or visited, it seems the emphasis is more on foreign missions, which are not bad, but I can't help but think: "Aren't there some people around here that could use some help?...and why are we going all the way to Mexico or Guatemala when there are people right down the street that need our help?"

This past week, I became aware of a situation where a single mother was in need of some major repairs to her home, so much so the insurance company told her they could no longer insure her home in it's current condition. Large areas of siding were rotten and falling off. The fireplace and chimney had pulled away from the house and consequently was pulling the exterior wall down. A portion of the roof needed to be replaced and the whole house needed a good coat of paint, just to name a few things. The sad thing, this woman is a member of a local congregation I used to attend...and apparently no one knew about any of this situation!

What really made this scenario even more frustrating was this same church's pastor proclaimed on more than one occasion his goal for the congregation was to see at least 50 PERCENT of the budget going toward missions! Now, I don't recall if that comment was ever qualified, i.e. how much would be for local versus foreign missions, etc. but here's the deal---if there's ONE, JUST ONE widow in a congregation that is living in a home in need of repair, a lawn that needs to be mowed, a dishwasher that needs to be repaired...and that congregation is sending the Youth Group to Mexico for a week BEFORE the widows or needy in the congregation are taken care of THAT'S JUST WRONG!

So...a group of us got together and spent the weekend working to get the woman's house repaired. At any given time, there were at least 10 to 12 people hauling debris, replacing siding, scraping and priming, re-building a wall, etc. One thing that made it interesting, I noticed all of the workers no longer attended the previously mentioned church (another story) and all of us don't attend the same church now...we were just a group of people that cared about a fellow sister in Christ, saw a need and took care of it. No committee. No committee meetings. Just a group of people "doing church." That's how it should be.

And you know what? It was FUN! We worked, we laughed and we found muscles and joints we didn't know we had. Now, where did I put that bottle of Ibuprofen?

"This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress..." (James 1:27)   "...Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me." (Matthew 25:40)

Sabbatical

Wow! It's been a while since I've posted anything here. It's been a busy summer and I've had lots of things on my mind, but never took the time to write them down.

Church
We left the church we've been attending for the past five years. I really thought this one was going to work for us, but the pastor went "dog day afternoon" on us, i.e. starting bullying from the pulpit, became argumentative with anyone that didn't see things his way, etc. There were some situations/conversations where he wasn't completely truthful and frankly, I don't need that in a pastor or a church.

We have visited several different congregations in the area and have been attending one in particular for the past few weeks. I worked real hard not to sway the decision-making process this time, since I was the one that picked the last church that didn't work out. Dana seems to like this one and has made comments to that effect the past couple of weeks. We know quite a few people there already, so the transition hasn't been too bad. I don't anticipate us placing our membership anywhere right now; maybe not for a long time. I've always said, church would be a great place if you didn't have to deal with people...myself included.

Alaska
We went to Alaska this summer; our second time. The first trip was for our 20th wedding anniversary. This time we took the boys and celebrated our 30th anniversary. We took a flight-seeing tour of the Misty Fjords in Ketchikan and went whale watching in Juneau. Absolutely gorgeous! Here's a few of the pictures I took (culled from over 1000!)

Another Project
When we bought the home we're currently living in, there was an 8 ft x 12 ft portable storage building in the back yard. Over the years, it started to deteriorate, so this summer I decided I would tear it down and replace it. After removing the roof and walls, I discovered that the floor was actually in pretty good shape, so rather than trashing the whole thing, I simply added on. The building is now 12 ft x 20 ft! I've completed all of the construction, just need to paint it. You can take a look at the finished product here

Reunion
I'm attending my high school's homecoming this weekend. We're throwing an "all 70s classes" reunion, i.e. all classmates from classes 1970 through 1979. I graduated in 1976. Should be fun. There are some people attending I haven't seen in over 30 years. I'm sure I look the same!

Hopefully, I won't be so long between posts this time.

I'm Beginning to Understand

I was raised going to church. We went every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night. If the church doors were open, we were there. Lately, however, I'm beginning to understand why people quit going to church.

Prayer

I pray--nowhere near as much as I should or could, but I do pray. I believe when I pray, God hears every word and is actively involved in answering my prayers. I believe prayer works. I don't believe I "get" everything I pray for. Sometimes God says "no" or "wait;" those are the tough answers.

I pray in the morning because it helps me start my day better. I tell God about the things that are on my mind (like He doesn't already know). I talk to Him about the things that worry me, even though I know the Bible says "don't worry;" I still do sometimes. I pray for my wife and kids every day, that they will have a good day a work and school...and that God would be gracious to bring them back to our home safely that night. Every time we sit down together for our evening meal, I thank God for giving our family one more day together.

I pray at night as I lay my head on my pillow. I thank God for one more day. Some people woke up this morning and by the end of the day, their life had been shattered by a tragedy. God, in His mercy, spared me/us from any harm today. I thank Him for that. I also pray for rest. Peace. For the troubles of the day to be swept away from my thinking and God's peace, assurance of His love for me, to fill my mind as I drift to sleep.

Many years ago, I got into the habit of breaking down my daily prayers--usually in the morning--into specific areas throughout the week. On Mondays, I pray for the people in the Adult Sunday School class I teach. I pray for them and the prayer requests they've made known in class the day before. I pray specifically for each request. I know God is already aware of those situations, but it serves once again to remind me how much I depend on God.

On Tuesday, I pray for and thank God for people that are and have been Godly influences in my life. I thank God for:

• Monroe Palmer- pastor of the church I grew up in.
• Jim Carty-first youth minister I had. We still visit from time to time.
• Sunday School teachers growing up--Mrs. Burnley, Mrs. Spyres, Mrs. Wright, Roy McGee, Frank Johnson, Charlie Miller, Estelle Williams, Phil/Kathy Cook.
• Former and current pastors.

Wednesdays, I pray about needs in our church, i.e. people having or recovering from surgery, fianances (especially during this economic downturn), families going through difficult situations. I pray for the safety of our men and women serving in the military, our country's leaders.

I pray for unsaved friends and co-workers on Thursdays. Some of them I've been praying for over 20 years. I remind myself that God works on a different time table than I do. I have seen some of them come to repentance and be saved; others appear to be as far from God as the day I put them on "the list." I'll keep praying.

Fridays, I pray specifically for my family-- each and every member; brothers, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nieces, nephews, parents, mother and father-in-law, and of course my own immediate family. Each one gets mentioned by name. I pray for their safety, their faith, their health, etc.

Over the years I've come to understand that it's not about me getting what I ask for/pray about. It's more about me leaning on God and Him changing the way I think to the way HE thinks. Psalm 37:4 says - Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I believe that verse teaches when we "delight" in God, depend on Him--He in turn changes us to have the right desires. His ways become our ways. For the record, God is still working on me. So...I pray.

WiiChurch

My two sons pooled their money and bought themselves a Nintendo Wii. The PS2 just wasn't cuttin' the mustard (I guess). If you're not familiar with the Wii, it's a video game console that attaches to your televsion...but what makes it unique is that it is wireless, i.e. there are no wires attaching the game controllers to the console (the console IS wired to the TV). You have a "motion detector" of sorts that sits on top of the TV that tracks you're movements. This technology opens up all kinds of game play.

The Wii came with several "virtual games" such as bowling, tennis, and baseball. Using one of the game controllers you--if bowling--go through all the motions of bowling while the motion detector tracks your movements and translates them to your television. The result is that you can "virtually" bowl or play tennis or hit a home run without ever leaving you living room. It's virtual exercise without having to really exercise!

I got to thinking, as I was watching the boys "vitually box" and beat the snot out of each other, you could apply this to lots of things. How about virual mowing? Or virtual eating? You could mow your lawn and do it all in the air conditioned comfort of your living room or you could eat the entire "Old 96er" and not gain a pound!

Where I think this technology could really be useful is church. You could have your own "virtual congregation" complete with virtual choir (or not), pass the virtual offering plate and listen to a virtual sermon...all controlled by you! Don't like "fire and brimstone" preaching? No problem, just select your sermon intensity with your wireless controller. Need a little less condemnation and a little more affirmation? How about a little more modern music? Casual atmosphere or "high church?" Shorter service? Less talk about hell and more talk about how to live a better (best) life now? Not a problem!!! Just make your WiiChurch style selections, sit back in your Lazy-Boy (you can even do that in your jammies if you want) and be blessed by a service created for you, BY YOU!

Boy, if this would catch on in...wait a minute, I think it already has. And all without the Wii. Guess I'm a little too late with a great idea.

A Conversation

It happened last week and went something like this:

"How come the So-And-Sos don't come to church here any more?"

"He was asked to step down from teaching his Sunday School class because he was teaching 'Baptist things.'"

"'Baptist things?' What's that?"

"I'm not sure, but he was teaching it and the Elders didn't like it."

"Why didn't they like it?"

"Because we're Christian, not Baptist."

"But I thought Baptists WERE Christians."

"Well, they are, but they teach different things than Christians."

"Like what?"

"You know. 'Baptist things.'"

"You already said that. What specifically was he teaching--the 'Baptist things'--they didn't like?"

"I really don't know."

"Who told you that?"

"People."

"Which people?"

"I really don't remember."

"So, people you don't remember told you things about someone that you really don't know what they meant...and you're repeating it?"

"Yea. Didn't you hear what I said?! He was teaching 'BAPTIST THINGS!' We're not Baptist."

"What are the differences in what we teach versus what they teach?"

"I'm not sure. I just know that we teach the Bible."

"Don't the Baptists teach the Bible?"

"Well, yes. I guess so. Are you trying to confuse me?"

"No. I'm just trying to understand...trying to find out why the So-And-Sos don't come to our church any more."

"[Sigh] I already told you! He believes in 'Baptist things!"

---
Stinkin' Baptists.

Church

Now this is what church oughta look like!
 

What Did He Say?!

I've never listened to a single sermon by Mark Driscoll. If he really said this, I don't believe I ever will...especially if he thinks this is appropriate content for a sermon:

Roughly two thousand years ago, Jesus was born in a dumpy, rural, hick town, not unlike those today where guys change their own oil, think pro wrestling is real, find women who chew tobacco sexy, and eat a lot of Hot Pockets with their uncle-daddy. Jesus' mom was a poor, unwed teenage girl who was often mocked for claiming she conceived via the Holy Spirit. Most people thought she concocted the crazy story to cover the fact she was knocking boots with some guy in the backseat of a car at the prom.

Steve Camp attributes this comment to Driscoll. The original post is here.

I think this is what those in the "emerging" or "emergent church" movement call cutting edge or relevant. I call it smug and potty-mouthed.

The Importance of Tithing

Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific island. Both survived. One of the men brushed himself off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any chance of survival.

When he returned, he rushed up to the other man and screamed, "This island is uninhabited, there is no food, there is no water. We are going to die!"

The other man leaned back against the fuselage of the wrecked plane, folded his arms and responded, "No we're not. I make over $250,000 a week."

The first man grabbed his friend and shook him. "Listen, we are on an uninhabited island. There is no food, no water. We are going to die !"

The other man, unruffled, again responded. "No, I make over $250,000 a week."

Mystified, the first man, taken aback with such an answer again repeated, "For the last time, I'm telling you we ARE doomed. There is NO one else on this island. There is NO food. There is NO water. We are, I repeat, we are going to die a slow death."

Still unfazed, the first man looked the other in the eyes and said, Do not make me say this again:

I make over $250,000 per week...
I am a Baptist and I tithe...
"MY PASTOR WILL FIND US!"

I Need a Break

I need a break from some of the blogs I read. A lot of what I read online is connected in some way with doctrine/theology/church life/etc. Some of it falls under the category of "critique" of other ministries, some of it deals specifically with and in defense of the "emerging or emergent church" (however you choose to label it).

After looking at this, this, and this, I've reaffirmed my belief that some of these so-called pastors exist simply to generate as much controversy as possible--to be as flippant, "in-your-face" irreverant as they can be. One of them actually states his goal is to "tick people off." A Biblically, noble, Christ-honoring goal I must say. It makes me sick and sad at the same time. They claim they are seeing conversions in droves, but what are the people converting to? So...at least for now, I'm taking a break from reading their tripe. My blood pressure will be better for it.

An encouraging thought: it ain't gonna last. This fad will go the way of others before them. Two years ago, you couldn't swing a dead cat in a Christian bookstore without knocking over a Purpose Driven Steak Knife Set, Purpose Driven Swiss Army Knife or Purpose Driven Combination Mouse Pad/Daily Journal/food processor! These guys and their silliness will go away...I just hate to think of the bodies of unsuspecting "followers" that will be scattered along the wayside.

The emerging bloggers won't miss me...and I certainly won't miss them.

PS: I've got set a "Prayer of Jabez" lawn furniture listed on eBay if anyone is interested.

How To Fix Your Church

The headline read: Once Thriving Church Closing Its Doors. The newspaper article stated: "At its peak, [the church] had more than 600 members. On one Sunday, 45 new members joined...The large education wing was bustling with children. Now it stands empty. 'There are no youths in our church,' [one member] said. 'The youngest members are in their 50s, and most are in their 70s and 80s. People got older and didn't come any more.'" A trustee of the church was quoted as saying: "The theatre churches are taking over. People like to be entertained."

I wish they had called me-- I think I could have helped them out. I've been watching this church thing for a while and I think I've figured out how to prevent situations like this.

The trustee is on the right track. People don't want to come to church; they "want to be entertained." That's where you have to start. You've got to change things up a bit. Make it more fun...and for gosh sakes, don't make it sound like CHURCH! Here's a list of things (in no particular order-and certainly not a complete list) you need to change in your church if you don't want to end up like this congregation.

• DON'T use the terms "church" or "congregation." DO use terms such as "community" or "gathering"; they sound less formal.
• DO NOT refer to the unsaved as "sinners." Nothing bruises an individual's psyche like making them feel inferior. DO refer to them as "non-believers" or "unchurhed" (hereafter UPs).
• Ditch the "churchy looking building. See that pointy thing on the top of the church in the picture. That's a steeple--it's means "church." "Formal church." Formal church = bad. Meet in a movie theatre, old warehouse or even better an old brewery...EVEN BETTER, an existing brewery or pub! Unchurched people love that kind of thing.
• Pack up the hymnals! Hymns are a big turn-off for the UPs. They don't know how to sing A Mighty Fortress is Our God, and they could care less about a "bulwark." Also get rid of the organ and piano and replace them with a keyboard, couple of guitars, a bass, and at least three backup singers (aka the "worship team"). A horn section is also a nice addition. Music should "rock the house."
• DON'T refer to the preacher as the "senior pastor." DO refer to him as the "lead pastor." Also, refer to any additional pastors as the "leadership team." (Associate Minister is a no-no.) AND the Music Minister should be refered to as: Pastor of Christian Arts, Worship, and Drama.
• DO NOT refer to others in the church as "Brother So-And-SO" or "Sister So-And-So." "DUDE!" works for everybody.
• Encourage your pastor to use edgy language from the pulpit. He should say things like: "I think the Bible is a f***ing scary book (pardon my French, but that's the only way I know how to convey how strongly I feel about this)!" OR "That really s**ks!" Use of the words he** and da** should not be discouraged. This makes your pastor, er uh, lead pastor sound more down to earth to the UPs.
• DO NOT refer to sermons as "sermons." DO refer to them as "talks" or "lessons."
• Encourage your lead pastor to blog and post comments like: "My wife IS hot and ALWAYS WILL BE and I think its biblical to brag about it (Song of Solomon) and if that makes you mad I'm sorry your's (or you) is (are) ugly!" (Just in case you think I made this one up, click here.) This makes him sound really funny and again, down to earth--AND should cause you to wish your wife was as hot as his...although "hot" is in the eye of the beholder, but I digress.
• Change the name of your church to something like "The Hill" or "The Orchard" or"Potters House", or...you get the idea. Never use the word "church" in the name of your community.

Of utmost importance, a church that wants to avoid the demise of the aforementioned church should put their lead pastor through an "extreme makeover." UPs are NOT comfortable with coats and ties or anything else that resembles formality. Below is an example of what you can do to make your pastor look more relevant to the UPs.

The picture on the left is a typical Senior Pastor (not the pastor of the church in the article). The picture on the right has been altered to make the pastor more appealing to the UPs. Get rid of the jacket and tie and opt for the open sport shirt. (A gift certificate to the local tanning salon would be a nice touch.) "Rob Bell" style glasses say: "Hey dude! Welcome to our community. The worship band is off the hook this morning!" (I know this to be true because one of my sons has glasses like this, and he's "off the hook", too. He's not a pastor, though.) Your pastor should either shave his head OR go with the rockabilly look. Either one works. A goatee or "soul patch" finishes off the look.

So there you have it. If your church is on the brink of collapse or needs a little shot in the arm, implement some or ALL of the suggestions here---you're sure to pack the house. And someday you'll be able to say: "We're the fastest growing church in [fill in your town or city here]!" Glad I could help.

Jesus Songs

One of the blogs I frequent is a watchdog-watchdog site, i.e. they critique the content of blogs they DON'T like that critique the content of blogs they DO like. It makes for some interesting (and sometimes mind-numbing) dialog. They are particularly fond of words that NO ONE uses in everyday conversation, e.g. missive, missional, emerging/emergent, and abstruse. (I guess I should clarify "no one" as being me and the people with whom I conversate...man, that sounded really pretty smart, didn't it?!) Anyway, they have a post today that I'm still trying to figure out:

1. Is it real?
2. I mean, do they really, REALLY think like this?

Here's part of the post. The writer is talking about a sermon series he is working on for Easter (next year, I guess):

I was toying with the idea of what entrance music would be appropriate for Jesus after the resurrection (or if you want to think of it this way, what could be playing on the soundtrack during/after the resurrection). The idea here is to capture the kind of moment that it is. The song doesn’t have to be completely relevant (as in some of the lyrics may not quite fit), but it should set the proper mood/feeling of the moment. This can be for the resurrection itself, or the appearances Jesus made afterwards. I only have two stipulations:

1. The song needs to be well known enough that people will generally be familiar with it.

2. Provide some explanation.

The writer then went on to make a few suggestions-- one of which REALLY caught my attention. He suggested, and I quote: "Back in Black – AC/DC. Mark Driscoll describes Jesus at the second coming as an ultimate fighter. Totally sweet, and he’s got a tattoo. The b***s to the wall attitude of this song is perfect. It lets everyone know that the man is back in town." (My edit)

You can read the rest of the suggestions and comments here. By the way, I was the only person that suggested hymns such as "He Arose" or "Christ the Lord is Risen Today." I know, I know. Too traditional, and not very easy to dance to.

All You Need Is Love

I saw this on a billboard yesterday--advertising for a church in the area. Wonder where they're going with this?

It's Not About the Bible - Pt 1

This may get a little long, but hang with me.

About three years ago, we left the church we were attending. The leadership had decided to go down the Purpose-Driven path, and we were not comfortable with that. So the search began, looking for a new church. This was no small quest, particularly since we had been part of the previous church for more than 16 years. We hated to leave for many reasons, but felt it was a necessary move.

First, I put together a list of potential churches, avoiding churches I knew we would not even consider (i.e. Mormon, Jehovah's Witness, Catholic). I included churches from denominations, as well as those that promoted themselves as "independent" or "Bible Church." I came up with a standard set of questions/criteria and began calling churches on the list. In many cases, I was greeted by a receptionist; on a couple of occasions, the Senior Pastor (for lack of a better term) answered the phone. The conversation would typically go something like this:

Me : My family and I are looking for a church home. Do you have time to answer a couple of questions?

Church Person (CP) : Oh, great! I'd love to tell you about our church. Do you have children? We have great "Children's" and "Youth" programs.

Me : Yes, we do; that's good to hear. Can you tell me a little bit about the church? What type or style of worship services do you have? How would you describe your pastor's/your preaching style? What makes you think your church would be a good church for us?

CP : Well, I've already mentioned the children/youth programs. We have some great adult Sunday School classes. Our pastor is WONDERFUL--he really preaches the Bible, but he makes it understandable/applicable. We have two worship services, one is contemporary, the other is traditional --OR-- We only have one service it's (contemporary/traditional/a blend of both, etc.

I think you get the idea.

I wasn't really surprised by the responses for the most part. Most of the churches seemed to be "cookie cutter" variety. Almost every one made it a point to tell me they had either been through The Purpose Driven Life or were preparing to do so. I crossed them off immediately. There were I couple I called that had some interesting responses. One CP told me (without prompting): "We're certainly NOT Calvinist! (I hadn't mentioned that, so it must have been something she felt she should make clear right up front.)

During most every conversations, the CP would ask: "What are you looking for in a church?" and I gave them all the same answer. "Well," I responded, "I'm looking for a church that has a high view of God and a high view of Scripture. I'd like a pastor that preaches pretty much verse-by-verse. I'm looking for a church that is more intersted in preaching and teaching than implementing programs. I'm looking for a Sunday School that is also Biblically sound, one that will teach me and my family and, at the same time, challenge us to live in a way that honors God." The majority responded: "You've described our church exactly!" (NOTE: We visited some of those churches. They didn't know what they were talking about.)

One pastor in particular made an interesting statement, which is where I'm headed here. The church was a new congregation in town. They didn't have a building yet, so they were meeting in a rented facility (I'll tie that back into my thoughts in a moment). After I introduced myself and told him the nature of my call he asked me the "what are you looking for" question and I answered exactly as I had answered the other CP's. There was a pause, and then he said: "We're probably not the church for you. We cater to the 20 to 35 [year-old] age group, typically unchurched." He went on to explain that their style of worship was very contemporary and that the sermons tended to be--although Biblically based--more positive talks or messages. They did not have a Sunday School.

Several thoughts came to my mind:

• Why or how did he assume I was too old for his church. ( I never told him my age.)
• I presume "unchurched" means non-Christian or unbeliever. The term strikes me as kinda funny, though. What happens once a person begins to regularly attend their meetings (church) and becomes "CHURCHED?" Are they allowed to continue attending, sense the focus group is the "unchurched."

Another thing that occured to me. That pastor was right--his church wasn't for us. Why? Well, it took me a while, but it finally hit me--and it's the same thing I see in lots of churches today. They're not about the Bible. In saying "we're focused on the unchurched," what I have discovered is these types of churches are trying to appeal to people that really DON'T LIKE church--traditional church. So in order to attract them, they have to make "church" NOT LOOK LIKE "church." How do they do it?" Robert Schueller and Rick Warren discovered the easiest way to figure this out was to poll the community; ask them what they don't like about church and then create a "church" (Warren refers to it as a "community") that doesn't look like the things they hate. AND IT WORKS!!! In no particular order:

• Unchurched people (UP's) don't like a church to look like a church. Maybe it's because they can't afford a building right now--but I notice a lot of new churches, especially ones that are courting the unchurched, are meeting in movie theatres or other rented facilities--as long as they don't look like a church. UP's will come to a movie theatre.
• UP's don't like hymns. The words don't make sense to them and they don't have a beat you can dance too. UP's like peppy, jazzy, sometimes loud, driving music--preferably with repetitive lyrics that are easy to learn.
• UP's don't like "churchy" clothes. It's not that they can't afford nice clothes, they just don't want to feel like they are dressing to go to a funeral, wedding or the office (all way more formal events than going to church).
• UP's DON'T like sermons. Sermons make them feel bad about themselves, especially ones that use negative words like "sin." UP's want to hear "encouraging talks" and "motivational discussions" about how to raise their children, find a better job, or have better sex.
• UP's would prefer to have their Sundays free. A Saturday night service is best for them. Not because they have to work on Sunday--they just don't want to get up early. If they can go to church ("unchurch") on Saturday night and get that out of the way, then they can sleep in, go have brunch and do something fun on Sunday.

An individual said to me on another blog thread: "As I’ve read your blog post and your responses, I guess what keeps hitting me is that you have very little (if any) scriptural backing for the positions you have put forth in a rather forceful manner." You know--he may be right. It's not about the Bible...it's all about looks that won't offend "unchurched" people.

Pt 2: What about "unchurched" people? How are we supposed to reach them?

Trendy Pastors

The men pictured above are all pastors of "churches" (in some cases, I use the term loosely) that appeal to "seekers" or what I call "emergent" types. They have lots of similarities, i.e. casual dress, haphazardly-styled or no hair, some don't appear to be happy, most are tanned (maybe their church is close to a beach), none of them are over forty, and none of them own a tie. (That one preacher/pastor guy is pretty muscley, too.) EDIT: 07.01.07 - I have been informed be a concerned reader that one of the pastors IS over forty. He should know better, then.

Some other things I've noticed about these "trendy pastors":

• They really like to use the word "relevant."
• It's more trendy/relevant to refer to themselves as "Christ followers" rather than "Christian" or "Believer."
• They seem to have an aversion for anything "old" or "traditional."
• They "give talks" rather than "preach sermons."
• Music Ministers don't like to be called Music Ministers...they are "Minister/Pastor of Creative/Christian Arts."
• On one church's website, the pastor wrote: "God began to burden my heart with the need for a dynamic, innovative, multicultural church, where people could learn God’s truths in relevant and creative ways..." (emphasis mine). Honestly, I've always thought that a church that faithfully preached the Word of God, WAS "dynamic" and "relevant."
• One pastor wrote on his blog: "Every movie has a great sermon." Silly me, I thought the Bible had some pretty good sermons in it.
• One pastor commented: "I think it's funny that we meet in a movie theatre that's showing Knocked Up." I think it's sad he thinks that's funny.
• One church's website proclaimed they were "the cool church." Groovy, man...if I'm looking for a place to trip!
• One pastor noted: "Knocked Up is a great movie." I hope he's kidding.
• One church's website, announcing their upcoming sermon series on "sex" proclaims: "God wants you to have great sex." One of the sermon titles for the multi-week series is entitled: "Leather, Whips, and Whipped Cream." Oh, brother.
• Churches are now referred to as "campuses." I guess using the word "church" isn't "relevant."

I guess I'm just old fashioned. I still think that faithful preaching will accomplish exactly what the Word says it will: "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." - Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

It's the Weekend

SURPRISE! Barack Obama is running for President. I'd say something about it if I cared.

Men's Prayer Breakfast?
An event billed as "Porn and Pancakes" is being hosted by a church in rural upstate New York.

The breakfast discussion on the pornography industry in America is planned next month at the Living Word Assembly of God Church in the town of Ontario, in rural Wayne County about ten miles east of Rochester.

A billboard advertisement near the church shows the words "Porn and Pancakes" written in syrup on a stack of flapjacks. Where do churches come up wiht this stuff. Check out the rest of the story here.
(Thanks to Kim Riddlebarger for the link)

Work Stuff
For the past two months, I've spent pretty much every Saturday, and most weeknights, studying for a certification test I'm taking next week (work related). I think I'm ready; I'll be glad when it's all over.

Church Stuff
We're studying the book of Esther in Sunday School. Tomorrow, we're looking at chapters 3 - 4 where Haman begins his plot to kill all of the Jews. Mordecai appeals to Esther to go before the king in order to save the Jews. When she hesitates, Mordecai tells her:

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)

Mordecai is a great man of faith; whether he or Esther or whoever intervenes, he is confident that God will ultimately deliver the Israelites. But his last comment really emphasizes his understanding of God's sovereignty: Maybe you're the Queen because God put your here--BECAUSE He always knew that Haman would pull this stunt. Not an exact quote, but the thought is there.

It's a good...no, great, lesson for me. I'm where I am-- at the moment I'm there-- because God ordained it. There's not a single situation that takes God by surprise and there's not a single situation that God hasn't already worked out "the end."

I sleep a lot better at night holding on to that truth.

Christians and Alcohol

Connected to a previous post, I've been having a discussion with an individual about Christians and alcohol. He takes the stance that Jesus drank (it certainly appears that he did--check out this verse and this verse) AND that it is entirely possible for Christians to drink and not be drunk (which is condemned by Scripture).

I take the view that, although I might not be able to make an argument against drinking from Scripture (although I think I could--condsider this verse), I find absolutely no benefit in having that "liberty."

In the course of our conversation, the gentleman I was engaging stated (re: the newspaper article that started this whole thing): "But to be fair, the newpaper article, written by a non-Christian outside, is not an accurate reflection of what happens." So his "defense" is that a non-Christian sees Christians drinking and makes a negative assumption about Christians and therefore, that's not fair. From where I'm sitting, his statment makes MY argument: if a non-Christian (or maybe a Christian) sees him drinking, they assume the "drinker" is not a Christian. That IS the point.

He can claim he has the liberty to drink because the Bible doesn't explicitly deem drinking a sin. He can claim that, in moderation, there is nothing wrong with having a drink with a meal or just for the sake of something to drink---BUT, people that THINK drinking is a sin or wrong aren't going to understand his "liberty."

Now--fair or not--why would he want someone to assume he is NOT a Christian when he really is?!!!

Even though he may have that "liberty", why would he want to engage in something that would cause people to assume something negative about him or his faith? Wouldn't it be easier just to NOT DRINK? And here's the bigger question: Why is it so important that he drink? That he be able to defend his right or liberty to drink? What is the benefit? I've asked the question, but no one will give me an answer.

I don't drink. Ever. It's easier and I don't have to defend myself. Incidently, I don't think that makes me better--it does mean I have more free time since I don't have to educate people about my "liberty."

I like what Phil Johnson said: "while we're not prudes or wouldn't automatically consider a stogie or beer "sinful," neither do we consider such things fitting emblems of Christian liberty. (Blog post, May 26, 2006)

God and the Super Bowl

The big story this week is the Super Bowl. I won't watch it--haven't watched a Super Bowl since the Cowboys fired Tom Landry. I'm not anti-football, just not interested.

Apparently, a lot of people will be watching, including lots of churches. I've noticed churches (around town and on the internet) cancelling their evening services and putting on Super Bowl parties. One church was going to show the game on their big screen, until the NFL lawyers heard about their plan and said, "no you're not."

I didn't realize it, but God is interested in the Super Bowl. According to the Feb 1, Oklahoma Baptist Messenger:

Head coaches Tony Dungy of Indianapolis and close friend and fellow Christian Lovie Smith of Chicago gave credit to God following their respective teams' victories in the conference championships Jan 21.

"The Lord set this up in a way that no one would believe it," Dungy said following the Colt's win over New England. "The Lord tested us a lot this year, but He set this up to get all the glory."

If I pray for my favorite team to win the Super Bowl, and they LOSE, does that mean that God didn't answered my prayer? Did God like the other team better?

And speaking of God answering prayers, is it wrong for me to pray for a good parking spot at Wal-Mart?

I Think This is Funny

Q: What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?
A: Somebody who knocks on your door but has no idea why.

(Thanks to "Mr. Right"--commentor on Mike S. Adams column today on Townhall)