The Rules Don't Apply

• A Stop sign simply means: Slow down a little bit; if no one is coming from the other directions or if they are and you think you can beat them "out of the chute" go on through.
  
• The sign at the buffet "No sharing plates" means: It's okay to let your child or friend eat off your plate as long as they don't eat the equivalent of a full meal.
  
• A Yield sign means: Get the heck outa my way. I'm MERGING! Make room for ME!
  
• "Form one line" at the DMV means: If you are not in a hurry, please wait; If you deem yourself more important than others, please cut to the front of the line.
  
• Two solid yellow lines on the highway means: You're driving TOO slow and where I am going is way more important than where you are going. Eat my dust.
  
• "No dumping" means: No more than 1 couch, an old lamp and three FULL trash bags.
  
• "Please take one" means: One at a time. No limit.
  
• "No Left Turn" means: unless you need to turn left, then go ahead and turn left. The twenty cars behind you don't realize how late you are for your manicure and facial.
  
• "No one under 17 admitted with parent or guardian" means: Yeah, right! I've seen worse than this stuff in the halls of my high school.
  
• "Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy" means: for everyone but me.
  
• "No Smoking" means: you're not the boss of me.
  
• "EXIT - Please use other door" means: unless this door is closer for YOU.
  
• "No Loitering" means: someone doesn't know how to spell litter. I think I'll ride my skateboard around here for a while.