Saturday, May 10, 2008

If I Were President- Continued

Conintuing my thoughts "If I Were President..."

  • Welfare is limited to two years (I actually think I'm being generous here). After that, get off your butt and get a job. Also, if you already have four kids and you're on welfare...and you get pregnant--WELFARE ENDS! Better find yourself a charity that doesn't mind the fact that you can't keep your pants on. That "charity" ain't me.
  • "Deadbeat dads," when caught, will be beaten to within an inch of death--hence the NEW definition of the name. I prefer public caning.
  • You can't get a driver's license until age 17. Don't even start telling me about how "Johnny" needs to drive to his job. He spends all his money on video games and junk food. He's fat and needs to lose about 50 lbs. You're his mother/father; drive him to the gym before he eats and sits his way into a heart attack before he turns 30.
  • No help, i.e. government assistance, for you idiots that bought homes on a variable rate mortgage (based on 30 percent of our gross income) and then found out your payment doubled. You couldn't afford a 3000 square foot home then...and YOU AND I can't afford it now.
  • If you can't afford a home (see above), you dang sure can't afford those cigarettes, beer and cell phone. Quit whining about how rough you've got it...you created your own problems.
  • Tailgaters and people that don't stop at stop signs will be shot on sight. (This one may be a stretch.)

4 comments:

Scotty said...

"Tailgaters and people that don't stop at stop signs will be shot on sight. (This one may be a stretch.)"

There would be nobody left alive in Florida. And, that would include the police!!

Welcome home!

Keith said...

Scotty:There would be nobody left alive in Florida... The same holds true in Oklahoma!

It's good to be back home...although you can't beat that Florida scenery!

thebeef said...

"Tailgaters and people that don't stop at stop signs will be shot on sight. (This one may be a stretch.)"


id like to add, people who dont use turn signals. i mean, seriously, how much effort does it take to reach over and flick the stick???

Keith said...

thebeef: I'm with you, brother!